Catching Negativity

My three-year-old son picked up a bad habit at school. When asked why he was behaving this way, he said “I don't know. Adrien does it!” And with that, he repeated the behavior again.Unbelievable. My impressionable, well-behaved boy was being corrupted by this child! It must be true that one apple spoils the whole bunch.


In fact, the group dynamics of preschool are very similar to those of the workplace and in adult life. Back in 1948 Kenneth Benne and Paul Sheats wrote a piece in the Journal of Social issues entitled “Functional Roles of Group Members,” outlining the roles that members may take in groups. There are 26 roles, captured in three broad categories: Task, Personal and/or Social, and Dysfunctional and/or Individualistic.

Here is a sampling of the roles – for a complete list and some additional context see here or here:

Group Task Roles

• Information Seeker


• Information Giver


• Opinion Seeker


• Opinion Giver


• Diagnostician


• Energizer


• Evaluator / Critic

Group Maintenance Roles

• Encourager


• Harmonizer


• Tension Reliever


• Follower

Dysfunctional Roles

• Aggressor


• Dominator


• Deserter


• Joker

I've seen this Adrien kid (name changed to protect the little guy) in action, and believe he has a couple of roles he is playing. He is a Joker for one, not getting involved and clowning around in class. He's also a Dominator that takes a lot of teacher attention. I've seen some Deserter in him as well, as he has a tendency not to engage with the rest of the classroom. Ugh.

The worst part is not that Adrien behaves this way, but that my son is picking up this bad behavior! It's almost like a cold that's passed all around the room. Sigal Barsade at Yale wrote a piece on the emotional contagion in groups, noting that people really do “catch” the mood of those around them. Barsade found that both positive and negative emotions are contagious.

As individuals mature, susceptibility to the contagion effect does not change - but the individual becomes more sophisticated in managing the contagion. In a room full of babies, when one starts to cry, they all start crying. In a class full of three-year-olds, when one acts out and tests the rules, the other children see the negative influencer getting more attention and try out the behavior as well. With teenagers, the need to belong often drives assent, collaboration, and confederation with negative influencers. With professionals, a negative influencer may gain an “exception card,” where those around accept the behavior as something that must simply be dealt with (“oh, that's just the way Sally is”).

The common thread in the contagion of behavior is that there is something to be gained by following the negative influencer. Babies cry when they need something. If they hear other babies cry, there must be a need to meet, and the advantage of the individual crying when the others do is that the individual's needs will also be met. The three-year-old that misbehaves earns attention from his teacher, as well as the opportunity to gain control – both appealing to the other observant three-year-olds. For the teenager, it's often about power and acceptance. If the negative influencer is able to do something that others can't do, then it makes sense to emulate the behavior and increase power by confederating with the negative influencer. In the professional world, if the individual calls out someone's negative behavior, there is a very real risk of negative consequence. Saying nothing, or accepting the behavior, has very little individual consequence, and the negative impact to the team is often reflected on the manager instead of the individual.

So what to do about these negative influencers running about? The theory is simple, but the execution can be difficult. It's a value proposition for the negative influencer – that individual is getting something for the behavior being given. Simply change what is being received for the behavior so it's no longer worth it to act in this way! :)

Operationalizing this is the tricky part. Here are some ideas to deal with the negative influencer in your group or organization. There is no second list for the individual being influenced by the negative influencer – once the individual is influenced, that person is also a negative influencer. Ah-choo!

• Expand the person's view term. While the behavior may be advantageous in the very short term (if you steal a candy bar you can eat it right away), there are likely consequences further down the road (jail time, fines, etc.)


• Show the full consequences. Often negative behavior creates relationship tension with those that are not engaged in the negative behavior, and these people may actively block progress and success in other areas.


• Help the individual think independently and reflectively. If the negative behavior is being driven by a negative influencer, use that person as an example of what can happen (fractured relationships, punishments, exclusion, etc.) if the pattern continues. If in a position to do so, asking if that consequence is what the negative influencer would like for himself or herself is often a powerful coaching tool.

Wondering what we're doing about that bad habit?

• Isolating the individual. In conversations with our son, I have used Adrien as an example of what not to do, identifying my son's bad behavior with both Adrien and with babies. My son wants to be a “big boy,” and big boys don't behave like Adrien.


• Addressing the behavior. Making sure my son knows I'm displeased by his behavior is a powerful tool – at least for now. His relationship with me is important to him, and he knows that this negative behavior puts the harmony in our relationship at risk.


• Making consequences real. It's not enough to tell him that he will go to time out, miss out on some special event, or experience some other negative consequence. After elucidation, the consequence must occur, with an explanation that this is directly related to the bad habit.

So here, in the midst of cold and flu season, beware the negativity bug. It's everywhere this time of year, but you can inoculate yourself: stay away from negative influencers if possible, find a compass that is consistent for you to guide your behaviors, and think rationally. Just as important, be a positive influencer! Remember, emotional contagion happens! Negative emotion is more contagious than positive, so you being a positive influencer is all the more important – to yourself and to those around you.

Best,

Bryan