Lunch

It's almost always enjoyable to connect with someone over food or coffee.  I really like sitting down with someone over lunch, learning more about the individual's purpose, work, and what makes him or her tick. There are lots of reasons to connect with others, and each type of interaction has its own benefit:

• History. The other person's experience reminds me of things I've done before, maybe not as well, or maybe better


• The Now. We're experiencing the same pains or joys, and compare notes and next moves


• Virtual Travel. I get to take a vicarious journey to an situation or place I've never been (skydiving, anyone?).


• Improvement. We philosophize or have a mental jousting of sorts, sharpening one another with competing logic and new information

I have a very strong preference for the other person to select where we'll have lunch. Very.  There are specific reasons for this:


I learn more about the other person

Where we go for lunch might lead me to learn the person is a vegan, or has some other special diet that would be important for me to remember.  The person may select a particular ethnic food because of a history with that country or region, or an exceptional visit.  The price point might indicate what normal spend would be for the other person, or the importance that person assigns to a good meal.

It's yet another new experience

If I select where we go, it's probably somewhere I've already been - and I will probably order something I've already had.  After all, who wants to recommend a place to someone, then find when they arrive that it's far from ideal for one reason or another?  Don Moyer in HBR says "you're only as good as your advice."  I don't want that kind of pressure. :)  If the other person selects, there's a likelihood you'll go to a place you haven't been, or at least find something new on the menu that you haven't tried.  There may be some clientele you've been wanting to meet (so this is where that CEO likes to spend an hour!)  New experiences, even simple lunch experiences, can be broadening in wonderful ways.

It shows you trust the other person's judgment

In a very simple way you've shown that you trust the other person's judgment and assigned them value.  Huge.

It's a decision you don't have to make

Simplifying your life is one of the greatest levers you can pull to improve it's overall quality.  A part of life simplification is to delegate decisions.  If you don't care what color the bathroom is in your home, let someone else (your spouse, your mother, your contractor, or your designer) make that decision.  Do you want to spend your valuable brain-computing energy making that life-changing decision of where to go to lunch, or would you prefer to spend it on some more productive task?  Take a peek at Tim Ferris' blog for some ideas on simplification.

So when you're meeting someone for lunch, be gracious and let them decide where you'll spend the hour.  It's better for everyone.

-Bryan