A role model helps direct aspirations, measure the self against a greater standard, creates an environment of learning through differential analysis.
Needing a role model starts early
The need for a role model begins early. Here's a quick YouTube bit on Konrad Lorenz imprinting geese. In Lorenz' famous experiment, he allowed the mother to hatch some goose eggs, and from the same nest hatched the eggs with the mother absent. When the mother goose was missing, the newly hatched geese followed Lorenz instead - as though he was their mother. Eckherd Hess was a psychologist that continued and expanded this work, delving into how long it took to imprint, and if different types of stimulus affected the imprinting process.
While the studies are quite fascinating (and some of Hess' work echoes in other areas of interpersonal behavior and attraction), one quick takeaway is this: when newborns are introduced to the world, they tend to model behaviors exhibited in front of them, and this modeling is strengthened through time and stimulus - both positive and negative.
A recent 2010 research review out of the University of Queensland noted that "cognitive theories have suggested that the observation of parental drinking habits contributes to the child's beliefs and expectations of alcohol's effects." Because the higher functions of the brain are relatively undeveloped, the short term effects of alcohol (for good or ill) are seen as the only effects by children.
During those difficult tween and teen years, the influence of peers is exceptionally strong, as individuals are introduced into new environments without the anchors they may have come to expect from parents, guardians, and other adult influences in the home. Much like Lorenz' experience, it is a stage when humans are "born" into a new environment, individuals at this age tend to follow and model the behavior of those perceived to be either in power or succeeding in the environment. The prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain believed to control longer-term thinking and emotion management among other things, is not fully developed until age 25.
...and continues in adulthood
There is a pattern that demonstrates relatively predictable human behavior. In organizations, one driver of the strong emphasis on change management is the heightened risk of people acting in irrational or unpredictable ways that might be damaging to themselves or the organization. Several models exist today to describe the changes that individuals experience, and the common stages are: denial, resistance, exploration, and commitment. The first two are a coming to grips with a new reality. The third and fourth are about understanding how to function in the new reality and accepting the change. In these stages, individuals begin to anchor their behaviors in the new environment and commit to following the standards and protocols to be successful.
On the other side, Kotter developed an 8-step change model to show how to effect change in an organization. My connection points for each step are in parentheses:
- Create urgency (something is about to happen, and it might be something bad - shaking views of reality to break old anchors)
- Build a coalition (find leaders in the organization that others will follow to champion the change - establishing the Konrad Lorenzes in the organization, if you will)
- Create a vision (think about what the champions should be saying, and what communication levers will support that as well)
- Communicate a vision (Konrad in action, supported by consistent organizational communication)
- Remove obstacles (make the champions easy to follow)
- Create short-term wins (reinforce that the new vision is the right one)
- Build on the change
- Anchor the change in culture
By coupling these two perspectives, it seems imprinting by another name is alive and well in our adult lives. When we are introduced (born, if you will) into a new environment, we look for those that seem successful in the environment to follow.
What does this have to do with role models?
Not every person being followed and modeled actually wants the role. Former NBA basketball great Charles Barkley starred in a Nike television advertisement after media outlets started questioning his confrontational behavior. In the advertisement, Barkley famously said: "I am not a role model. I'm not paid to be a role model. I'm paid to wreak havoc on the basketball court." He closes the commercial with "Just because I can dunk a basketball doesn't mean I should raise your kids."
Also, no person is perfect, and there is a risk that we assume someone held up as a role model is great at everything. To continue the example, if Charles Barkley can dunk a basketball, one might assume he's a great mediator and father as well. While it seems ludicrous when written in a sentence, this halo effect is a natural human bias. A man named Thorndike first published on this phenomenon back in 1920. It was the first of many studies that generally concluded that people with an easily perceived positive trait (attractiveness, wealth, professional success, athleticism) were perceived to be good lots of other things as well - even with evidence to the contrary.
So...what should I do?
First, recognize that role models likely already exist for you. It's a powerful exercise to think about the individuals that influence the way you think and behave - and then to ask yourself why. By moving this to your conscious realm, you can exert control over those thoughts and perceptions to bring them closer to reality.
Second, select desirable characteristics from individuals around you. Recognize that perfection is hard to find, and that not everyone is good at everything - so pick and choose what you're learning from different individuals.
Third, write it down. Include the name of the individual, what that person is modeling for you, and why you chose that person. It doesn't have to be in great detail, but it brings additional clarity and engages your prefrontal cortex when we write them down (even if it isn't fully developed yet). To write it down is to make a decision about the people on your list.
Fourth, check the list and your progress. This isn't something to be referenced every day, but instead periodically. Every three to six months might work for you, just as a check-in. See if you're taking on those characteristics you admired in the other individual. Think about those characteristics, and look for flaws in your role model. Finally, ask yourself if this person should still be on your list. In some cases, you may find the student has become the master.
Fifth, consider who might be looking to you as a role model. Almost everyone holds the role, although many may not recognize it. If you are a parent, the little people in your home most certainly hold you in this regard. If you lead people or are in the public eye, you may have more individuals modeling your behavior than you think. As you consider these things, think about why others would follow you - why they would want to be like you - and the implications on your life and theirs.
What about your list, Bryan?
Here are a few. :)
- Jeff: managing operations well and bringing order out of chaos
- Ashley: remaining positive and constant in challenging situations
- Brian: managing teams and people extremely well
- Charles and Becky: overcoming extraordinary challenges - and being extraordinary along the way
- Dave: being a balanced and effective executive leader
- Donna: the art of conversation
- Eric: organizational development
- Jesus: everything
- Ken, Terry and Tony: how to be a CEO and lead people and organizations through tremendous change
Best,
Bryan
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